My 2nd grader shared her Oreo moon phases project with me and it changed my life.
Somewhere along the path of life, I learned that work-life balance exists and that I need to find it. That has not been a fruitful journey. For too long I tried to take on everything all of the time and then I would get upset when things don’t go as planned. This month as we celebrate Women's History Month, I chose to share something many working moms deal with daily. Letting our accomplishments define us, which means that we are less than graceful to ourselves whenever we can't “balance it all”.
What if I told you that Instead of focusing on balance we can shift our focus to cycles, yep just like the phases of the moon, and release some of the pressure that comes with thinking we have to carry it all.
If you are planning the launch of a product or service and it requires your attention right now. Put all you have into that project! Communicate to those around you what you are doing, decline their invitations, and get it done! There will come a time when that project is over, and you can turn your focus to other things. It took me 35 years to figure it out and I’m still not an expert but if your focus is less balancing act, more peace then let’s look at 4 things that you can do right now.
#1 List your Non-Negotiables
Decide what brings you joy and what you are not willing to compromise on. These are things like “I need to get in a workout for my mental health” or “My bedtime is 9:30 pm” These things are not going to change with the tides. Take a moment to think about what you need and set those boundaries. If an opportunity comes that would disrupt these things say “NO” and mean it.
#2 Prioritize
This one was particularly hard for me. I used to think that everything was equally important and then I would treat each task like that. Nope! Decide what needs your focus and start there. I make a top 3 list of my priorities each day and then list my daily tasks. My top 3 always get done, the others can shift if need be. If you are feeling especially rouge, you can even ditch the to-do list all together and simply list your accomplishments at the end of the day in a "done list" instead.
#3 Delegate
If you are a type-A personality like me, you are impatient, hate wasting time and highly focused on your goals. You often feel like no one helps, but have you let them? My family does so much more around the house now that I have let go of control and allowed them to help. Are you making things more difficult because you won't allow others in to assist? If you don’t have anyone willing to help you out, maybe you could hire help? Contracting a virtual assistant or someone to clean your house while you focus on other things can make a huge difference. There are many areas where others could support you, add those to your list and make a plan to delegate some of your responsibilities if possible.
#4 Have Grace
Things are not always going to go as you planned. There will be setbacks, mishaps, and straight foolishness along the way, but you have to extend the same grace you give to others, to yourself. Talk to yourself like you would to a good friend going through a similar situation. When things get dark, remind yourself that it won’t always stay that way.
Life doesn't give us a heads up and we will not always feel like we have things together, but I leave you with this; No matter what phase you are in, you are still whole.
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